Friday, 20 February 2015

Falling down the rabbit hole

Do you ever get the feeling that something isn't quite right? Like when you're in a certain situation, something doesn't quite click into place. This is something I've been pondering for quite a few years now. Let me explain:

Since I was a young teenager, I have suffered from some weird kind of attack things. I'm not entirely sure what they are to be honest- believe me, I've done plenty of research and still can't put my finger on what they are. Whenever I was in certain situations, I would suddenly start to see things in double time. Like a video on fast forward. I would look around, and everyone would be moving and speaking really quickly. Sometimes these episodes would last for about 10 minutes before they would go by themselves, but as I got older and got them more often, I learnt to force myself out of it by tapping a slow, steady beat. And sometimes I would feel these attacks start to come on, and would manage to suppress them. So I guess I learnt to live with them without giving them a second thought. 

The situations that they occurred in were never similar; they would mainly occur when I was sitting a test at school, but sometimes I would just be relaxing at home and they would happen. 

As I got older, they started to not happen as often, until they stopped all together about 2 years ago. Then about 2 weeks ago, something happened. I was in a ballet class (I'm currently working towards my Intermediate ballet exam) and we were doing quite a hard exercise that really pushes your stamina. I've always pushed myself in my dance as I don't have a dancers body but I always try my best to improve it. About halfway through the exercise, I could feel that familiar feeling coming back, but decided to push myself through it as I thought it was my body just saying it wasn't enjoying the hard work. As soon as I did that, it felt like something had burst in my chest and was holding my lungs so tight I couldn't breathe. I went really dizzy, and everything went into double time again, but only for a second. And that scared me, because I had never ever had an attack during a dance class. Dance had always been my release, my escape from life, and so I had always been relaxed when doing it. 

That's when I realised something was really up. I told my mum, and she thought maybe I had just forgotten to breathe, or it might be a panic attack. But I'm still not sure.


Have any of you guys experienced something like this before? If you have, please let me know in the comments below, as I would love to know what it is and how you've dealt with it!

P.S. I'm at LFW starting today, so I'm either going to be posting a lot of content, or go M.I.A. for a bit. But I'll have lots of things to show you when I get back!

Gx



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4 comments

  1. Omg Georgie, I hope you are ok. Possibly you could talk to a councillor?

    www.lookwhatigot.co.uk

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    1. I'm fine hun thank you for asking :) I'm hoping its not going to have to get to that, but if it happens again/gets any worse I will

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  2. Hope you're ok lovely! That's a horrible thing to have! Hopefully you can talk to someone that can figure out exactly what it is and give you a way to combat it!

    Katie <3

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    1. I am thank you :) It's just so confusing! Yes fingers crossed! <3

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